Parenting is Leadership 2

(Disclaimer: This should have been posted on the eve of Dec 24)

It's Christmas in a few hours! Everyone here in the Philippines is busy preparing for Noche Buena. For our family, the kids wanted a simple dish. They only want dinuguan with puto (rice pudding) for noche buena! So early morning, our two lads went to the wet market with their grandma, uncle and auntie to buy veggies, fruits and look for blood and intestines of newly slaughtered hog.  They have started preparing since 2 pm because Dinuguan is quite tedious to cook. And they wanted it cooked in wood so they made a temporary furnace at our backyard. Look how they enjoy their small adventure! They are cooking their dinuguan while being guided by their granny!

Because they do not want me to poke on them while they do their chores, I am able to relax and write this blog

As I said in my previous post, I do not have  biological child yet. These lads are my nephews. They have younger siblings ages 14, 10 and 8. Living with us as well. All are, likewise, busy doing own duties.

I have a total of 6 nephews and 5 nieces. The two older ones are now starting to build their own families. Only visit us once in a while. One is here now with his 5 year old son. The other has work. But called last night to give her greetings. My 2 other nephews, ages 12 and 9 are in Bicol. They were supposed to come here with their granny. But cancelled after realizing their mom will be alone this Christmas. The two other nieces, ages 15 and 14, are residing a couple of houses away from us. They will be here in a while.

My siblings and I grew up without our father. He died when our youngest was 5 and I was 11. Mom had to work far. And my older brothers were forced to stop schooling and work at very young age to help her put food on the table.  So, me and my younger siblings, were by ourselves most of the time.

Because we were by ourselves most of the time. And I was the oldest in the house, I have been exposed to parenting at a very young age. I saw how mom toiled to put food on the table and raise us at the same time. That was what I mimicked when I was in charge of the house. I gave my best in school and took care of my younger siblings.

I used to complain why I was born in a poor household. Now, that complaint is replaced by an overflowing gratitude. Being born in a poor household with a very diligent and loving mother, trained me and my siblings to be loving and responsible. She could have chosen to re-marry. But she focused on providing for us instead. The love, diligence and sense of responsibility shown by my mom impressed on us.

Now that we are all grown up and 3 of my siblings have their own kids, our mom's sacrifice continue to serve as our good example. We endeavor to surround our homes with love. We train the young ones and make them grow as responsible, godly and loving individuals. It is tiring. My husband (yes, with my husband, which makes me very thankful!) and I, with my youngest brother, have taken the leadership role in the family. We do most of the strategic thinking. And we are thankful that my siblings and mom are very humble and receptive. At times they do not immediately listen. But after they realize the wisdom, they willingly oblige.

Being regarded as the leader in the family I had to take extra effort and sacrifice, which my husband wholeheartedly supported . Previously, it was to choose not to have children right away so I could support the education of my younger siblings. Recently, it's the decision to shelter the 5 children of my eldest brother.

My eldest brother is a widower. He is a seafarer and always away. In the previous years 3 of his children were were with my mom. Two were with me.  Now, all of them are in my house. A decision I took, with support of my husband, out of my desire to provide better discipline and guidance to the kids. And unload my mom. I don't mean to say that mom is not disciplining the kids. She is. But because she is much older now, she gets easily frustrated and exhausted. She particularly complain about handling the lad. Because of this, I gave up some personal development goals so I could focus on the kids.

Today, as I watch the kids do their things to prepare for our simple Christmas celebration, I am happy to see acts of love, generosity and godliness. A good indication that we are progressing well in disciplining them. I am, likewise, pleased to see that they growing to be individuals with simple happiness. A heart-warming sight, indeed.

Parenting is Leadership

I am yet to have my biological child. But parenting is not new to me. I have taken parenting role on different levels. And my experiences taught me one important lesson: parenting is very much a leadership role.

What gives me the right to claim this? Watch out for my upcoming posts.

Birthday and Field Trip

I happen to swing by a blog and remember that I have not been able to visit and update mine for a year now. So 'though my eyes tell me I should put myself to bed now, I chose to write this post.

Today is my brother's birthday. He's far. Sailing somewhere in Europe. I pray his angel brings him our love and well wishes. He is feeling happy and near us. He's been away for 5 months now. We got sad to learn last month that he wants to sign-off  because he finds it difficult to tell some SrOfficers, buying stuff in slopchest, about certain limits imposed by the Captain. He feels the Captain directs the rants to him rather than to the erring colleague. But the next day, he emailed back saying he will just endure it until he finishes his contract.

Tomorrow, my 10 year old niece, sister of the little boy I've been talking about in my previous posts, is going on a field trip. She is excited because it's her first time. I have prodded her father (my sibling) to accompany her so they will have father-daughter bonding. I initially wanted her younger brother to come. But I realized better not. They may end up competing for their father's attention.

I still vividly remember the first field trip I had. I was 12 years old. The title was "Lakbay Aral".I was able to come because it  was free. I was ecstatic that finally my prayer to experience a field trip is going to happen. If it was paid, I could not come because I didn't have the means. I also recall the only baon I managed to bring was a small lunch. Because I was afraid to ask from lola Mana. She was my parents' former employer. I stayed in her home after my family decided to go back to the province when my father got ill.  I finished elementary far my family. I was alone. I had to be independent and brave. Good thing, my generous classmate- Marina Ronquillo, joined the trip as well.  She brought lots of snacks and shared everything to me!

I felt happy while I observe my niece prepare her things. I am thankful that my nieces and nephews ( and my future child) now have the means to pay field trips. Buy goodies and snacks. Won't pity themselves anymore for not having the means,

But looking back, I am thankful I felt that scarcity. It gave me inner drive to strive. My day-dreaming also help a lot. I used to pretend I was a fairy bringing help to less fortunate children.Sometimes I thought I was a successful woman bring hope to the poor (mimicking the scenes I see on t.v). They were so real in my mind that I survived loneliness and being afraid of uncertainty.

I don't know what our current status will imprint to the minds of my little loved-ones. But I want them to have drive and fantasy higher than mine. So they will desire to grow in wisdom. I specifically pray that they will make themselves very able and strong in character so that they can serve and help more people, not just their relatives.